June marks one year living in Seattle. Oh, I love this city. I fell in love the first time we visited. We walked a downtown Seattle street holding hands. Gauthier and I looked at each other and asked the same question: “So, can you see us living here?” We both agreed that we could. Here we are today, two years later celebrating one year in Washington! Happy Anniversary to us. I’m happy to be here, this moment though. The past year was an emotional rollercoaster for a few reasons. We agreed to a living situation that ended up destroying friendships, we both had jobs we weren’t in love with and adjusting to a new city is NEVER easy. This combination of things almost ruined our relationship. A whole 6-year thing almost burned to the ground. So let’s dive in, I’ve been dying to tell you all!
Trouble In Paradise
We learned the hard way this past year to never live with another couple. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years so we know how we work. He’s OCD with cleaning, meaning I turned into a crazy OCD cleaner. It’s not always fun but at the end of the day, we like a clean place. Everyone lives the way they live but we found out very shortly that we were living with a couple the exact opposite as us. You know what that meant? Cleaning up after them day-by-day. Luckily, we lived in a 3-story town-home so we never had to deal with their upper level, but we did have to deal with the kitchen. Every day we’d end up cleaning their dishes and cleaning up dried up sauce on the counters. It was fine for a few months, but was consistent for 11 full months. We’d clean it spotless and since they typically ate after us they’d leave it TRASHED every single time. Tip #1 for your next roomie experience: Please clean up after yourself. Leave common areas clean and tidy because after all, it is a COMMON space and you need to respect the space for others.
Cleanliness wasn’t even the main issue. It was the lack of respect that we felt towards the couple. After month one they started to walk around us without making eye-contact or without saying hi. I’m super outgoing, and I feel weird not saying hello to someone in the same space. That’s when it started to feel like we did something wrong. I would receive text messages getting personally blamed about things like my dog eating a single blueberry on a couch, to one burnt wooden spoon, the lack of respect we have from their things, broken glasses from “over-loading” the dishwasher and more. These things were never brought up in person but instead were texted and then negativity was built up. Tip #2 for your next roomie experience: Prior to moving in, talk out in person how you work. Are you clean? Do you have any dog rules? Do you prefer talking over issues in person or via text? Communication is key in any relationship and in this case, I feel the ball was dropped.
A Poor Living Experience
The last six months our place was hostile to say the least. I was never relaxed, I stopped using the kitchen and I cut off all ties of communication to avoid the negative text messages I got. I know this sounds really extra but this was the worst living experience of my life! Even whenever they got home my blood pressure would start to increase. I had terrible anxiety from being around them and living in an environment like that. I know this doesn’t really shed a light on the whole experience, but it was miserable. The couple would yell at me immaturely and then would hide in their room and not want to talk out problems so they’d text them. I’d hold the urge to text them back the same way but it’s hard to ignore sometimes. Living with someone brings out the worst in them, the real in them. Unfortunately, I saw the worst in these people and saw the worst in myself. It’s going to take me a while to get over this. I had to live in a negative environment for 11 months and it was the longest 11 months of my life.
Clean & Communicate
Now, we are one month into our new place and life is starting to feel normal again. My heart is at ease each day I come home. I don’t walk into the apartment with anxiety but instead with comfort. I no longer have to clean up after another couple, and for that I am so grateful. I know not everyone has a choice on living alone and if you are living with roommates currently, try a little harder to keep clean and make sure to provide in-person communication. It is vital to a healthy roommate situation and I wish there was a little more of that with our experience.
Light at the End of the Tunnel
I’m still adjusting to this new life, we both have new and exciting jobs at Amazon and our place is coming together. It’s going to be a great second year in Seattle and we are so excited for what’s to come as a couple. Cheers to a fresh start and cheers to healthy living environment.
Have you ever had a bad living experience? Tell me in the comments below: